Tag Archives: side effects

The Difference of a Year

Standard

I just returned from a week in Mexico.

It was gorgeous, relaxing, adventurous, fun and much needed. I always plan it the week before I return to school as a last way to recharge, reflect and get ready.

The sun, blue water, time for self care is good for my soul. Seeing the Lord’s work in nature and taking the time to listen to what he is saying with new opportunities is a gift.

But this trip hit different because a year ago today my life changed when my marriage changed along with a stressful year in education (see other post about change and reforms in school). In this last year, the stress of all the changes restarted my body to get sick-very sick and it was obvious if you looked at me for the first time ever.

The butterfly rash, psoriasis, weight loss, eye inflammation, dental issues…all the symptoms came roaring back. The hardest was the weight that caused people to ask if I was okay and the hair just getting thinner and shorter without being cut.

It led to two new medications and finally tests and a biopsy.

Pictures do not lie! I usually pull it back, but this night I got feisty!

I often want to step out of the picture or refuse to take it, but I will not let pride and vanity win. This.is.me! This is my season of sickness. It is rough, but my reality. So I will show my confidence and continue to take the selfie or portrait. I an more than my appearance. I hope I inspire young girls that think they are fat or ugly to be confident and brave.

The hair will grow back or I will invest in wigs and hats. This is Lupus and the world needs to know…even Virgin River had a story on the disease!

So I start these meds today and wait patiently for a cure and hopefully an answered prayer with little to no side effects and some relief.

Pray with me!

Looking sick vs Being sick

Standard

I am sick. Lupus does that to you. Most days I do not mind. Most days my disease is manageable. On the hard days, it sucks, but all in all I am blessed. My struggle is silent. I go to work daily. I rarely complain. The people who know the truth are my son and husband. They feel the weight of my lack of energy and overall fatigue. Sad, but true. My job gets the best I can offer while my family suffers.

I started with Plaquenil and it worked until it didn’t. Methotrexate was a no go after a few months. Cellcept lasted a month, but I am stopping it due to excessive hair loss. I am sick, but I refuse to look sick.

This was a good pic of me in November. Hard to believe that was 3 months ago.

I have such thick hair that the hair loss is still somewhat disguisable, but I see it and feel it.

This is Lupus. It is sneaky and complicated and can bring even a confident person to their knees. I am stopping Cellcept until we can start something else. I am willing to endure the temporary pain. Pray with me as we figure this out. I think Benalysta may be next.