I was super surprised when my husband texted to get a sitter, he had a reservation and we were going out. First, he is not romantic so him planning date night was super special and second the place was fancy! We had not been to a steak place in like a decade. Steaks were our norm before kids, but then who has 300 dollars for a meal (we drink a lot). So this was a splurge and I loved it!
I got to get super dressed up, take an hour to get ready, and we even did pre drinks and much needed talking. The roads were getting bad so we cut the night short to get the kid, but it was a night we needed and memories to last for the next decade when we do it again!
As we restart our adoption journey, but this time through foster care, one major difference is all the courses available online. We lose the community…we loved our adoption community and still keep in touch with those families…but learning in your pajamas is pretty awesome too. In fact, doing the courses online is one of the big reasons the fire was lit to start. I learned today even CPR was online so that is pretty amazing also! I say all this to say if you have been praying about adoption then now is the time!
On another note, Happy Law Enforcement Day!
The biggest reason my husband got out of police work, is we adopted our son. Now we had a baby to care for and working nights, weekends, holidays just would not work anymore. He struggled that he was missing all the good stuff needing to sleep so he could go to work. He also realized the reality that he could be hurt or killed while on the job and there were other things he could do…so he resigned and started a new career.
Staying married while doing that job was hard, so I will always have respect for those that serve others and risk their lives for strangers.
I have some friends going through the adoption process and I hate to say it, but when they ask how it is my first words are “really hard”. It takes a lot of time, paperwork, classes, background checks, videos, meetings and so many questions!! I think what makes it harder is you know you are doing a good thing so why so many obstacles? Also compared to giving birth, you have to prove yourself as a parent. Even 8 years later, the thing I remember most is how hard it ended up being.
The thing is you have no control. The timing, the person, the process…it is out of your hands. A lot of praying and trusting that others are looking out for you. But in the end…it is so worth it! When you meet your child and it all makes sense…adoption is the best gift from God!
One of our best blessings is our adoption is open! I posted this pic today and the first person to like it was his birth mom. Love we can keep up in this way and she can share in these moments with me. If God has put on your heart to adopt…go for it! No one I have met has ever regretted it!
I love my spouse, but how we each show and receive love is very different. I am a quality time girl. Love to me is snuggles on the couch, date nights, sleeping in late, vacations to the beach. In short: time!
My husband is very different. He is Acts of Service. Love to him is work. He likes a clean house, a chore that needs to be done, working on a project together to get it done faster. Productivity and progress makes his day! So clearly we are different, so how do we make it work?
Step 1 is recognizing how the other receives love and doing it graciously. This is hard for me since I like to be comfortable and lazy. Step 2 is accepting just because we are giving, does not mean the other is receiving. I am on Cloud 9 on a date night, but he might be feeling nothing so I have to remember though my love tank is full…he still has room to be filled which means I have to be intentional about showing love even after a great night.
It is hard when two languages are so different but worth it when the marriage is working and growing. The question I have to keep asking is “Am I giving as much as I am receiving?” If I can honestly answer no then time to get to work!
I am using this space to plead for prayers for my sister in law battling Covid in the hospital. Blows my mind that she A. caught it but then B. is struggling to fight it. She is a rock to my brother and the air that he breathes. Literally been with her since high school, his only girlfriend and as much family as anyone with my blood…so pray pray and pray again that she builds strength and recovers.
On that note, blessed our foundation is in Christ and we do not have to fear death. 2020 has taught me that this world is not fair, we live in a fallen world where we rely on things that are fake and not meant to sustain and that our foundation means everything. So if you are like me and this year has rocked your soul…then join me in checking the foundation and building it on Jesus. His ways. His word. His Plan A.
Where has this show been and why am I just finding out about MAFS? I found it on Netflix with Season 9 and basically binge watched it…should have been doing laundry, dishes, dusting, tutoring…but there I was watching strangers try to make a marriage work.
I was glued.
To be honest, it made me appreciate my marriage and how far it has come since our early years. Our fights. Our arguments. Our venomous words or selfish actions. Watching these couples make mistakes reminded me of our journey and I felt proud that 15 years later, we are still here.
But watching these couples also made me think back to my list of what I wanted in a man and what were my dealbreakers. A big one for me is “I will not marry a man that pushes the snooze button.”
Do you have any picky deal breakers in finding your spouse?
First, I am one of the lucky or unlucky teachers that started my break this week. The unlucky part is that I will be unable to enjoy a single day of this Spring Break. Too much worry and uncertainty and fear of what will be in the future for myself and my students. Lucky in that we had days to prepare; we sent home work and logins, grabbed our planning materials and most importantly said good bye. We left knowing the days ahead would be uncertain, so we kept calm but prepared ourselves.
But the days of this week being a time of celebration and catching up on rest are anything but especially if you have a child of your own. In an instant I became a home school teacher, an online teacher and a wife of a man that is invested in the travel industry that is being destroyed with every passing day.
So the truth is we are waiting, watching the news, catching up on technology learning, anticipating the next email or tweet about how the district is handling this and praying, praying, praying.
Praying how God can use me for His glory in all this, praying I can be the teacher my son needs, praying this will bring people everywhere closer to Christ and to the truth that God truly does have the whole world in His hands, praying my students have food and their parents still have jobs and praying the leadership on all levels will be led with wisdom and peace. Finally, prayers for health, vaccines, medicine, miracles and safety. Prayers that the boredom will be a blessing, the stress will lead to scripture, the worry will start worship, the panic will turn to praise and the God of the universe will take His place over Google.
I have already seen God at work as we band together to offer free resources and teachers helping teachers by sharing ideas and support. In light of eternity, this is a small moment in a big picture. Praying with power for us all!
I have chosen a word of the year to guide me the last 5 years. I call it “my word that empowers”. It starts in prayer then follows listening until I hear God speaking his will over my life. This year God and I fought about it as the word He chose made no sense.
Who wants to be vulnerable? Isn’t that weakness? Doesn’t it mean open to attack? It was clear that this was my word but it made no sense and I felt embarrassed to share it. So I began to research and found a great author and TedTalk that really shed light on the power that comes with bring vulnerable so I embraced it. Even made a bracelet!
My husband and I are getting more info on the process of fostering children in our home. A process we feel God putting on our hearts. We contacted our first choice agency and this is what we got in response.
God speaks. A word that made no sense was a guiding star to a future He has in store. Now it all is clear and we have a Word of the Year to thank.
These are my girls, my circle, my tribe. The friends that know my inner thoughts, darkest secrets, see me at my worst and best…the real deal. There is no judgment, no competition, it is not forced or embellished for effect. It is raw and real-whatever that may look like. Engagements, weddings, babies (11 total), diagnosis, […]