I am life long introvert. Being in quarantine is sweet relief. I like people, but on my terms. Parts this ordeal feel like bliss. But even as an introvert, I value connections. Facebook offers me all the feels. A like, comment, emoji that says “me too” or “I feel you!” I often fail to check up on people because I withdraw all to myself, but God is teaching me to be more aware of the community that maybe I do not need…but that others need from me. And truthfully maybe I need more than I think I do.
Case in point, I was dreading this zoom with my church community group. What will we say? Will we talk over each other? Is it a waste of time? But the time spent laughing, sharing stories, giving encouragement and hope filled my spirit. I walked away knowing I am not alone.
My son is experiencing it too. Noises and people and new are not him, but even on camera he found himself showing off his stuff. It is how we live life. Sharing and connecting can fuel the soul. I pray to be so in love with Jesus that He comes out in me, but I know I have a long way to go. But in these moments where we all feel the same pain and are enduring similar moments then the connection is a powerful thing that can lift us up and keep us going. If you find yourself lonely, lacking a listening ear or just feel abandoned…message me. You are not alone.
I am a big advocate of having a circle of women that you can connect with and grow old together. Seasons change in life so much that it is likely the friendships will change too. Hard reality, but truth. While we lived in one city, our friendships were very different vs another. While our son played on one team the parents we hung out with varied from the next time. Proximity is important.
I am thankful for my DC or Dinner Club girls. These ladies have been in my life for 15+ years. No season could separate us. We are lifers. We have literally raised families together. We make the time and that is key. Be grateful when you find a crew that knows it all and still love you. Hug them tight and do not let go.
I write all this to say, we were made for community. Isolation is lonely and dangerous. When you are down, you need someone to help you up. You need a partner to laugh with and love hard. I cringe at couples that say “we have each other”. Love the bond, but you need more. Fellow moms that get how hard it is, wives that feel the struggle to stay sexy, women that know the pressure, Christ followers that see how narrow the road really is and get when you do not always feel like you fit in. Spouses are great, but the girl time makes the spouse time better. I have had girlfriends that chose the boy. Only want to go out as couples. Cancel at last minute or never fit the date into their calendar. I get love, but I refuse to be the only one trying to make the friendship work. You choose to make time or you do not. Simple.
I am fortunate to have several groups. Church community, work community, city community and my lifelong friends. Make no mistake it is does not just happen…you make it happen. You create time, you say yes, you give your ear and be attentive, you stay loyal and guard your heart and mouth so other women want to invite you and be around you. You stay confident and secure so you can shine each others’ crowns instead of rip them off.
Women can be as tough on each other as much as we are tough on ourselves. But when the relationship vibes are right, no one understands women like we understand ourselves. The giggles are loud and the conversations get deep. Big tears can be shed and the dancing and singing can free the soul. Go on the get away and leave the kids …they will make new memories just like you. Embrace the girl time. Leave the man for a few hours…better yet, marry the man that selflessly supports it. It.will.be.worth.it!