Tag Archives: healing

The Difference of a Year

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I just returned from a week in Mexico.

It was gorgeous, relaxing, adventurous, fun and much needed. I always plan it the week before I return to school as a last way to recharge, reflect and get ready.

The sun, blue water, time for self care is good for my soul. Seeing the Lord’s work in nature and taking the time to listen to what he is saying with new opportunities is a gift.

But this trip hit different because a year ago today my life changed when my marriage changed along with a stressful year in education (see other post about change and reforms in school). In this last year, the stress of all the changes restarted my body to get sick-very sick and it was obvious if you looked at me for the first time ever.

The butterfly rash, psoriasis, weight loss, eye inflammation, dental issues…all the symptoms came roaring back. The hardest was the weight that caused people to ask if I was okay and the hair just getting thinner and shorter without being cut.

It led to two new medications and finally tests and a biopsy.

Pictures do not lie! I usually pull it back, but this night I got feisty!

I often want to step out of the picture or refuse to take it, but I will not let pride and vanity win. This.is.me! This is my season of sickness. It is rough, but my reality. So I will show my confidence and continue to take the selfie or portrait. I an more than my appearance. I hope I inspire young girls that think they are fat or ugly to be confident and brave.

The hair will grow back or I will invest in wigs and hats. This is Lupus and the world needs to know…even Virgin River had a story on the disease!

So I start these meds today and wait patiently for a cure and hopefully an answered prayer with little to no side effects and some relief.

Pray with me!

Lupus Impact

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Here are just a few of the things an auto immune disease will attack in an attempt to fight off invaders:

Hair-thinning, falling out, bald spots on scalp, dry and brittle

Eyes-itchy, burning, blurry vision, inflammation

Skin-dry, rashes especially on face, psoriasis

Mouth- ulcers (the worst) cavities due to being too dry or too much bacteria

Joints-aches, pains, stiffness, deformities, loss of grip, cannot move arms above head, hard to walk or bend at the knees, hard to dress

Blood-anemic, easy bruising

Reproductive-can cause infertility, dryness, overgrowth of bacteria

Organs-failure of vital ones, hard to breathe, chest pain, lung inflammation

Digestive-weight loss, foods hard to digest, IBS, watch what you eat-sensitivities

Brain-forgetfulness, depression, brain fog

This is a list of things I have endured in my 12 years with this disease.

Thankfully not all at the same time and thankfully meds can help alleviate much of this.

My hope is in Jesus. I am thankful I have a promise of eternity and faithfulness in a cure or in a plan or purpose for my pain. Prayer is powerful.

Stop Going to Google and Start Going to God

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I do it every time.

Hear a diagnosis then Google it to death.

What I really struggle with is fear, control, the unknown and what-ifs.

God has the answer.

When will I learn to start with Him?

He knows, He cares, He loves.

The end.

Last Post of 2020

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I am using this space to plead for prayers for my sister in law battling Covid in the hospital. Blows my mind that she A. caught it but then B. is struggling to fight it. She is a rock to my brother and the air that he breathes. Literally been with her since high school, his only girlfriend and as much family as anyone with my blood…so pray pray and pray again that she builds strength and recovers.

On that note, blessed our foundation is in Christ and we do not have to fear death. 2020 has taught me that this world is not fair, we live in a fallen world where we rely on things that are fake and not meant to sustain and that our foundation means everything. So if you are like me and this year has rocked your soul…then join me in checking the foundation and building it on Jesus. His ways. His word. His Plan A.