Category Archives: spouse

Adopting in a Pandemic

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As we restart our adoption journey, but this time through foster care, one major difference is all the courses available online. We lose the community…we loved our adoption community and still keep in touch with those families…but learning in your pajamas is pretty awesome too. In fact, doing the courses online is one of the big reasons the fire was lit to start. I learned today even CPR was online so that is pretty amazing also! I say all this to say if you have been praying about adoption then now is the time!

On another note, Happy Law Enforcement Day!

The biggest reason my husband got out of police work, is we adopted our son. Now we had a baby to care for and working nights, weekends, holidays just would not work anymore. He struggled that he was missing all the good stuff needing to sleep so he could go to work. He also realized the reality that he could be hurt or killed while on the job and there were other things he could do…so he resigned and started a new career.

Staying married while doing that job was hard, so I will always have respect for those that serve others and risk their lives for strangers.

How do you show love to your spouse?

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I love my spouse, but how we each show and receive love is very different. I am a quality time girl. Love to me is snuggles on the couch, date nights, sleeping in late, vacations to the beach. In short: time!

My husband is very different. He is Acts of Service. Love to him is work. He likes a clean house, a chore that needs to be done, working on a project together to get it done faster. Productivity and progress makes his day! So clearly we are different, so how do we make it work?

Step 1 is recognizing how the other receives love and doing it graciously. This is hard for me since I like to be comfortable and lazy. Step 2 is accepting just because we are giving, does not mean the other is receiving. I am on Cloud 9 on a date night, but he might be feeling nothing so I have to remember though my love tank is full…he still has room to be filled which means I have to be intentional about showing love even after a great night.

It is hard when two languages are so different but worth it when the marriage is working and growing. The question I have to keep asking is “Am I giving as much as I am receiving?” If I can honestly answer no then time to get to work!