Category Archives: mothering

Firework Waste

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What is it with fireworks that make people lose their minds? We live out in the country where popping all explosives is legal. Every New Year and July 4th my house sounds like a war zone. This is not how I was raised. We watched them, but never popped them so seeing this excitement for fire is beyond me.

Personally, they are a waste of money. I said it!

However, the smile it brings my son to hold the lighter and watch it go off. The anticipation of what the firecracker will do…how high…how loud….the colors. He loves it all. The joy my husband feels to put on a show and share that explosion together…it is special.

I pace back and forth ready for the injury, the fire, the accident and 911 call. I am not a fireworks girl-but my boys are so we light em up. Truth is that hour of memories is no different then a dinner night out or buying fancy liquor to drink. You consume it and it is gone. You have nothing left but a memory and maybe a picture, but in that moment it was everything and nowhere else you would rather be.

So rather than be a fireworks waste, I will choose to say fireworks win last night. Memories to last a lifetime and maybe share with his family someday. Happy 4th of July!

Paying for an Experience

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My son has been obsessed with dinosaurs lately. We can thank Jurassic World and Ryan’s toy reviews for that. When I learned the Jurassic exhibit was in Dallas, but required over 25 dollars a ticket and over an hour drive…I stopped to consider if this event was worth it.

It was.

The experience was worth the cost. The opportunity to be together as a family. The fact my husband took off of work-shock! The chance to laugh when the unexpected occurred. The feeling of awe as the robots came to life. The smiles, the laughs, the conversations on the way home. The way he tells everyone about it.

Was it costly? Yes. Was it only an hour? Yes. Will we remember it for a lifetime? I hope so.

Choose.the.experience.

We did.

Alone Time

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Came to my parents to hang out for an hour before my Camp Gladiator workout. They were on their way out the door to get to Luby’s by four (yum)! Was I upset because they left me there all alone?

Ummmm….no!!

It was magical! I was alone! No kid, dog, dishes to do…it was like being at a hotel. Made my day and made me realize I am old when being alone excited me because it never happens.

Tracking the Memories

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I count having my first child in my mid-thirties a blessing because I had a lot of time to think about cool things I wanted to do as a parent. One cool thing is dressing a baby up like a man.

That hat was my grandfather’s so that look is extra special to my heart.

Another fave thing was taking the month to month pics the first year. This process was super hard and only got harder each month but love looking at the 12 months all together.

Poor kid endured big dress ups on every holiday! Here are some faves:

But two more cool things that I only do because I had lots of time to think about kids is….1. I have a Dr Seuss book that each of his teachers sign and I will give it to him at graduation. It is a great reminder of all the teachers that poured into him each year. I keep a school picture from each year so we can see how he grows. 2. Keep a frame with those school pictures as art on the wall.

I want this to be a daily reminder the time goes fast so make the memories and track them for the future. Thankfully I started these early so I have the keepsakes needed.

I am sure there are so many other ways to track the memories. Do you have any special ones you do?

Killing it as a Snow Mom

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No one prepares you to mom in cold weather. Texas women do not get much guidance in handling kids during freezing weather and snow in an area that’s climate is just straight up hot. Exhibit A: Ridiculous Clothing

We don’t ski…enough said. Exhibit B: cooked from the pantry.

Pardon his booger nose…we blew it shortly after the pic was taken. We ate whatever we found in the pantry: tacos, mac and cheese, bootleg dumplings minus the chicken, chili with missing ingredients and lots of breakfast foods and frozen foods.

Who kept that fire going while dad worked all week? This girl!

Who got a workout in while all the whole house watched and tried to wave to the camera? Me again!

Who splurged with some snow ice cream and played outside every day in temps in the single digits? Me.Me.Me!

Hopefully you can agree that moms do what moms do to keep their children happy despite being stuck inside for 6 days straight. We made memories, had fun, learned a little and relaxed a lot! Looking forward to getting out tomorrow, but celebrating we made it today!

Adoption is not Easy

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I have some friends going through the adoption process and I hate to say it, but when they ask how it is my first words are “really hard”. It takes a lot of time, paperwork, classes, background checks, videos, meetings and so many questions!! I think what makes it harder is you know you are doing a good thing so why so many obstacles? Also compared to giving birth, you have to prove yourself as a parent. Even 8 years later, the thing I remember most is how hard it ended up being.

The thing is you have no control. The timing, the person, the process…it is out of your hands. A lot of praying and trusting that others are looking out for you. But in the end…it is so worth it! When you meet your child and it all makes sense…adoption is the best gift from God!

One of our best blessings is our adoption is open! I posted this pic today and the first person to like it was his birth mom. Love we can keep up in this way and she can share in these moments with me. If God has put on your heart to adopt…go for it! No one I have met has ever regretted it!

Left the Mess to Relieve the Stress

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This is how my kitchen looked all day yesterday. I should have been cleaning, wrapping presents, maybe baking a yummy dish but instead this was me all.day.long.

I binge watched Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies. The trick to doing this is neglecting your child by letting him play all day and making sure your husband stays at work. It was a huge success and I feel ready to conquer the holidays. In the midst of the hustle, follow God’s lead and rest, be still and choose joy with the people God has placed in your path.

If you are experiencing grief this season, know you are not alone and covered in prayer. Merry Christmas!

A Mother’s Love

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Reading about the Naya Rivera story…a story of a mother that used her last bit of energy to save her son before drowning…hit me hard as a mom.

I feel her frantic trying to keep her child safe.

I feel her fatigue using all her energy for another’s life.

I feel her panic that she cannot swim any longer.

I feel her love for her child and his future.

I know if she had any fight left in her or clarity of mind to make a plan then she would have done more/anything to save herself. As a mom, we want to be on the front row of watching our children succeed. Nothing breaks my heart more than to imagine not being able to see my child grow up. Not being the one to give the hugs, cheers and watch them grow into adults. I know it devastated her to not get into that boat with him. She gave her life for him.

“No greater love than to lay down your life for a friend.”

Jesus understands this kind of love for His children. He gave his life for me. He chose to die so that I could live. He gave all his energy and breathed his final breath only after He knew I was safe. I owe him my life.

I owe it to God to live my life to the fullest because He sacrificed his for mine. I owe it to God to be thankful for the gift. I owe it to him to tell others about this love.

I do not understand much about parenting, but I get the deep love for the life of a child. I will forever be connected to Naya Rivera on this deep love that you would use your last ounce of energy before letting go. Praying for her family as they navigate a future without her and praying for hearts to be opened that this kind of love is found in Jesus Christ for you and me.

No mother should worry about her son jogging in his own neighborhood.

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Not all mothers share the privilege of their son being outside without fear or worry. Unfortunately, 2020 still proves we have a discrepancy in how we are allowed feel about protecting our children. One mom can say “be safe” and move on, while another mom (a mom of color) has to teach a list of unspoken rules then be left to worry. It is not right. Sadly, for far too long we (as in white) have kept quiet refusing to see the truth out of guilt that we live a more privileged life. However, we are called to speak up against injustice and there is nothing more unjust than criminal acts going unnoticed simply because who is alive to tell their side of the story. We should not need a video to take the time to seek the truth. My white son would not have been attacked that day jogging, or in his apartment in Dallas or at the party in Mesquite; all relevant stories of moms that grieve a son killed needlessly in large part (if not all part) because his skin color.

In this time of isolation, take time to reflect then speak up-destroy any blindness that does not see the truth of the situation or implores us to stay silent out of fear of conflict or to mind our business. While I have sat in the longest time out of the 21st century, my eyes have been opened to some #Coronatruths that we are 1. way more connected globally than we think we are (how one virus in one country around the world can spread that fast goes to prove our separation is not that separate) 2. we live in a world with lots of noise (my classroom Zooms prove some homes have lots of background noise and the mute all button has become my friend). This background banter needs to be blocked out to see what is important and to give ourselves permission to feel. We need to change the culture we live in. Stop looking the other way or excusing yourself from the conflict. Do not leave it for someone else-this problem belongs to us all.

On this Mother’s Day weekend, I run for the injustice done to Ahmaud and for his mom that lost her son. We must join hands and step out of the darkness that separates how moms experience raising sons based solely on race. ALL moms should say with peace “My son is jogging and will be right back.”