Not much I disagree with Dave Ramsey about, but I found something big a year ago. Three years ago, I started down the path of becoming debt free. Our family always took trips during the summer and one of the big ways to save money was cut those out. So we did. For two years. We were sad, but we had a goal. Flash forward and we found ourselves fighting to save our marriage.
We had been so busy balancing our budget we forgot to balance our marriage. Neither of us realized those trips rejuvenated our marriage and reconnected us to each other. The two thousand dollar trip was now small compared to splitting up a quarter of a million in assets and attorney fees. We committed to always take the trip and figure out how to save elsewhere or bring in more income.
This weekend we took another get away that on paper does not look all good, but in our hearts was so worth it. We laughed, cried, listened, sang, chair danced, told stories and enjoyed each other. Away from the house and the chores. Away from the kid. Away from our city and friends. Just.us.two.
My favorite part of the night might be eating at 11pm at a restaurant totally picked by me. Now if we fought about money then none of this would be a good idea…I dream of the day of not being a slave to the lender, but when that day comes I want to be celebrating with my first and only husband so some seasons you just need to take the trip.
We could leave the Christmas lights up ’til January This is our place, we make the rules
Not very often I can say that Taylor Swift wrote the perfect lyrics for my relationship, but here I am saying it is true. I heard this over the weekend and immediately thought “Yes…she gets it!” My husband and I have always been delayed about taking down Christmas. We just love the house all red and green so much that is hard to let go. I usually don’t feel bad about it, but this year it almost felt like I was being lazy or letting go of my life and needing redirection.
Then I heard this song.
It finally all made sense again. It is my house! If I get joy from Christmas until late January then so be it. It kinda made something seemingly small special between my husband and I….Almost naughty, but we like it. I spent all of today slowly putting up the year round decor, but the tree still remains…it will come down tonight or this week so no worries, but we do the make the rules because like TS says “This is our place!”
Parenting is hard. Let’s face it there is no manual yet we all do the best we can. I found this in our backyard and it made me stop and think about how I can improve as a parent. My husband and I parent differently…not sure if it is a gender thing, but we do make different decisions at different times. Baths are optional for me, food can be eaten anywhere, matching is important…I cringe before teeth brushing time; the tough things in parenting scare me. I tend to avoid the meltdowns while my husband walks right into them boldly.
But one thing he has mastered is being present. He plays, he colors, he draws, he throws, he catches, he mows only when kid can ride with him. He seizes the opportunities to have togetherness. I tend to work, clean or be busy instead. I am a work in progress and I know it is an area that I need to improve, but I tend to take the lazy way out. It could be my number 9 nature where I like things easy and this is where parenting is hard; doing the things that tire you out as I do not have the energy of a 5 year old. But thankfully my husband is there to step in where I fail as I continually change to be better. I want my son to remember those times of playing just he and I and way more than I want him to remember the house was clean or I finished my last book. So I proclaim that this will be the area I focus on this next school year to follow the motto “Wherever you are-be all there!” I will focus on doing what needs to be done to be present even if it means the things around me are less than perfect. This motto will be part of my classroom as well as I miss great conversations trying to get all my work completed.
Thankful for the fathers out there on this weekend made for you. Thankful for you for all that you do that makes your kids smile. Thankful you carry the load with us mamas!
Cooking is my weakness. I am not one of those people that enjoys it…to me, it is work. I grew up in a home where we ate out 5 nights and cooked for two. I could so still do that as an adult. In fact, it is a joke that whenever my husband works late then we know food is being brought in so I am never mad about it. However, my husband’s childhood included home cooked meals 7 nights a week. He feels fat eating out more than twice in a week…it has been a issue (obviously).
We have tried a lot of compromises and all seem to start and fail. My cooking is at my best during the school year because it is part of our routine. The challenge is I cook the same things over and over. Simple meals that take no time to prepare…did I mention I do not like pasta? Yep, makes it harder. I have bought every cookbook under the sun and even paid to get recipes from websites. I have tried to spice it up, but once you have the recipe…you need the groceries. I start out strong then quit.
My perfect world would include a chef! In fact, if I have to remarry, then I am standing outside a cooking school and will grow to love the man. I should have made this part of my list.
So this week my husband agreed to let me purchase Blue Apron and see if that is our missing piece. We will get three meals with recipes and all the groceries included. A bonus is we even get to pick the dishes so we get what we like. I still have to cook it (we tried a gluten free meal delivery and that tanked also), but everything is here so no shopping. Our goal is to eat at home, eat healthier and save money on groceries because now I just shop for what we need rather than buy a bunch of food to someday or never to cook.
My first attempt was Tuesday. Could not tell you what I made, but it had chicken. The recipe was easy, took about 45 minutes total, tasted good, fed my husband and I (the child still eats his usual nuggets or turkey) and was quite simple to clean up.
It is only one meal, but it is a start and I am hopeful it will help my husband to feel healthy and me to feel homemakerish. Stay tuned!