Category Archives: healing

The Difference of a Year

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I just returned from a week in Mexico.

It was gorgeous, relaxing, adventurous, fun and much needed. I always plan it the week before I return to school as a last way to recharge, reflect and get ready.

The sun, blue water, time for self care is good for my soul. Seeing the Lord’s work in nature and taking the time to listen to what he is saying with new opportunities is a gift.

But this trip hit different because a year ago today my life changed when my marriage changed along with a stressful year in education (see other post about change and reforms in school). In this last year, the stress of all the changes restarted my body to get sick-very sick and it was obvious if you looked at me for the first time ever.

The butterfly rash, psoriasis, weight loss, eye inflammation, dental issues…all the symptoms came roaring back. The hardest was the weight that caused people to ask if I was okay and the hair just getting thinner and shorter without being cut.

It led to two new medications and finally tests and a biopsy.

Pictures do not lie! I usually pull it back, but this night I got feisty!

I often want to step out of the picture or refuse to take it, but I will not let pride and vanity win. This.is.me! This is my season of sickness. It is rough, but my reality. So I will show my confidence and continue to take the selfie or portrait. I an more than my appearance. I hope I inspire young girls that think they are fat or ugly to be confident and brave.

The hair will grow back or I will invest in wigs and hats. This is Lupus and the world needs to know…even Virgin River had a story on the disease!

So I start these meds today and wait patiently for a cure and hopefully an answered prayer with little to no side effects and some relief.

Pray with me!

Stop Going to Google and Start Going to God

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I do it every time.

Hear a diagnosis then Google it to death.

What I really struggle with is fear, control, the unknown and what-ifs.

God has the answer.

When will I learn to start with Him?

He knows, He cares, He loves.

The end.

Lupus Update and Reality

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I got my 2nd chest xray recently and the results of the awkward 24 hour urine test (so gross to capture my pee for 24 hours straight).

The urine test confirmed high protein so now I go to a kidney doctor to get biopsy and learn more. The doctor should be able to put me on the right drug to calm the disease.

The xray showed no progress so they conclude it is not pneumonia, but rather my scoliosis crowding my lungs. It is weird since I had symptoms of congestion and cough and the antibiotics helped. However, the xray revealed just crowded organs with a suggested follow up to be sure.

Basically we have to calm the disease before it continues to attack more organs. I have seen improvement since being less stressed and off of work. Resting more and doing things I enjoy and relaxing. I gained 9 pounds since May. True blessing!!

So now we explore how to help my kidneys and calm the disease so “Lupus will stop doing what Lupus does which is attack healthy cells and your body.”

The journey continues!

Who Doesn’t Have 30 Minutes?

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My recent health Journey had me put a hold on intense workouts. For one, I had no calories to burn. For two, the workouts wore me out with my low body weight and muscle burn. Little did I know these last couple of months I had pneumonia and possible kidney disease (we are learning more with tests).

I know a key to handling Lupus is exercise and it workouts are so good for my stress. Add in that at this weight, muscle tone and definition is so nice. And you cannot forget it is swimsuit season so even though I struggle with my bony frame and hair loss…I want to look as good as possible.

Smaller chested brunettešŸ˜‰

Although it feels like I am wasting my Camp Gladiator membership…I have started utilizing the website. Specifically, on demand workouts and quick hitters. 30 minute workouts targeting the areas you want to grow. Who does not have 30 minutes to take care of yourself?

Choose the time, the area of focus, the trainer- it is all up to you. Great for those that cannot go all in, but cannot afford to give up.

Lupus/Health Journey 4 and Adoption Day

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Happy Adoption Day to Callen! 9 years ago yesterday we made his Adoption official in a courthouse in Houston!

Had another appointment with a Rheumatologist and it is getting expensive with co-pays! Found more protein in the urine so now we do a 24 hour Urine test which is gross and kinda tedious. Holing to find more answers!

Lupus and Keeping it Real

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I am going to be honest. I will never know if I have Covid because the symptoms feel like Lupus. Yesterday I began to get what felt like a migraine. Light hurt my eyes and I had a massive headache. Started running a fever and felt achy then began to just feel worn down.

Was I getting sick? Who knows but it hurt and hurt bad. I took a bunch of meds…Sinus pills, Advil, Prednisone and did a nasal rinse. Slowly starting to feel better, but if I ever had Covid then I would have no clue without a test.

Lupus can be tricky like that. Deceptive. Sneaky. Painful. If you suffer from an autoimmune disease I feel for you…it is hard especially with Covid around right now!

New Habits

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2020 was the year our trauma was exposed. The year we had a moment to step back and see what God was seeing. Busyness. Greed. Selfishness. Chasing after the wind to gain power, success, money…but losing family, health and righteousness.

2021 can be the year to repair what the trauma exposed. Relationships with family, clarity in our mission, a new way of doing things. A greater focus on what matters and what you really “need” to thrive. God’s way is simple, but costs us everything. God’s way brings life.

2021 is the year of new habits. New mindsets that 2020 revealed are needed. Mindsets of humility, grace, health, knowledge of God’s word, seeing trials as a process for change.

This year starts some new healthy habits that will be game changers.

1. Reading the entire Bible. God gives us direct access to Him and I am taking advantage of it.

2. Changing what I put into my body. More water specifically.

3. Discipline through CG workouts. Build muscle, grow lung strength, push yourself mentally and encourage others around you. Take an hour for yourself to take care of your body and grow your mental toughness.

4. Choosing family and quality relationships while putting down the things that keep us from it. My FB friends do not fulfill me more than family.

5. Financial freedom. Stop using things to buy happiness. Get out of debt .

I struggle being generous because I fear not paying bills, but the truth is I am spending all my money on things for myself to make me happier. Time to stop.

This year is the year to make changes needed now that God has my attention.

Last Post of 2020

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I am using this space to plead for prayers for my sister in law battling Covid in the hospital. Blows my mind that she A. caught it but then B. is struggling to fight it. She is a rock to my brother and the air that he breathes. Literally been with her since high school, his only girlfriend and as much family as anyone with my blood…so pray pray and pray again that she builds strength and recovers.

On that note, blessed our foundation is in Christ and we do not have to fear death. 2020 has taught me that this world is not fair, we live in a fallen world where we rely on things that are fake and not meant to sustain and that our foundation means everything. So if you are like me and this year has rocked your soul…then join me in checking the foundation and building it on Jesus. His ways. His word. His Plan A.