Category Archives: defeated

The Difference of a Year

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I just returned from a week in Mexico.

It was gorgeous, relaxing, adventurous, fun and much needed. I always plan it the week before I return to school as a last way to recharge, reflect and get ready.

The sun, blue water, time for self care is good for my soul. Seeing the Lord’s work in nature and taking the time to listen to what he is saying with new opportunities is a gift.

But this trip hit different because a year ago today my life changed when my marriage changed along with a stressful year in education (see other post about change and reforms in school). In this last year, the stress of all the changes restarted my body to get sick-very sick and it was obvious if you looked at me for the first time ever.

The butterfly rash, psoriasis, weight loss, eye inflammation, dental issues…all the symptoms came roaring back. The hardest was the weight that caused people to ask if I was okay and the hair just getting thinner and shorter without being cut.

It led to two new medications and finally tests and a biopsy.

Pictures do not lie! I usually pull it back, but this night I got feisty!

I often want to step out of the picture or refuse to take it, but I will not let pride and vanity win. This.is.me! This is my season of sickness. It is rough, but my reality. So I will show my confidence and continue to take the selfie or portrait. I an more than my appearance. I hope I inspire young girls that think they are fat or ugly to be confident and brave.

The hair will grow back or I will invest in wigs and hats. This is Lupus and the world needs to know…even Virgin River had a story on the disease!

So I start these meds today and wait patiently for a cure and hopefully an answered prayer with little to no side effects and some relief.

Pray with me!

Disappointment with AutoImmune Disease

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So now that my summer break is here I am ready to tackle this Lupus flare. I was referred to a nephrologist only to learn she is booked up until August. It was devastating since I return to school in August. By God’s miracle, I got a call that said she could see me that afternoon and I went no questions asked.

She reviewed my labs and gave me the news I am stage 5 Lupus Nephritis. Not good. No blood in urine, but very high protein. Crazy because I have no symptoms yet.

She is referring me to get a biopsy to learn how bad it is. The biopsy will determine the treatment. It is so disappointing.

The rising cost of co-pays. The fear that my organs are being attacked. Thinking about living with this disease another 40 years…it is frustrating.

All I can do is give it to God and be okay with whatever may come.

For the love of baseball

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This team of lottery picks thrown together to make a team finished last in the league with zero wins.

A defeated season…zero, zilch, nada.

We even questioned entering the tournament, but thought why not?

Our first game was against the first place team. A team that beat us 15-2. A team that has not lost a game in 2 years. David vs. Goliath.

We won 11-9.

We celebrated like we won the championship! We hugged and cried and cheered and got dessert. We. did.it! We lost the next two games (though the second one came close) and ended our season, but we will always have THAT win.

Unforgettable and all for the love of baseball.