Happy Adoption Day to Callen! 9 years ago yesterday we made his Adoption official in a courthouse in Houston!
Had another appointment with a Rheumatologist and it is getting expensive with co-pays! Found more protein in the urine so now we do a 24 hour Urine test which is gross and kinda tedious. Holing to find more answers!
My son’s IQ is too low to be considered having a learning disability.
True story. Too low to have a learning disability. If my son, did not have the other health impairment a public school system would not qualify him for special education because he does not have enough strengths to receive services.
Let that sink in. “Not enough strengths”. As a teacher this breaks my heart. My students that get this information are basically being told find a good trade or marry a rich spouse because according to the SPED system you are too low to receive our help. We cannot help you.
Low IQ is 70-79- my son has a 54. But if you ever met him then you would know something is different but 54 does not describe him- autism and distractedness make a difference on these tests. Combine that with lack of motivation and in his world “these tests suck”. STAAR is a joke for him-he cannot logically reason or read those words (mind you in a home with two parents with a masters degrees)…he is below grade level with an other health impairment. The test does not fit him.
The state should differentiate their testing. Supports are not enough for some kids.
God knew what this kid would need. God knew what our education and finances could offer that he was not born into. God knew what faith, hope, love, early intervention and stubbornness could provide. God chose us to adopt him…a hard calling, but an important one.
You see my child thinks outside the box. He sees things not for what they are, but what they can become. He sees a rinse cup and creates false teeth (it works). He sees a happy meal can be turned into a computer. He sees foil can create 101 different toys. He will make the world better….mark my words….by creating something so simple, but no one saw it.
Someday public education will rethink their testing and accountability but until then…
Today I go to two doctors to check on symptoms of inflammation. One is an eye doctor…my eyes have been on fire lately and the second is my regular check up to see if the Methextrate is working or we need to try something new. Many Lupus drugs have serious side effects, so I need to be careful and check blood work often.
Going to the doctor today got me thinking about all my flares the past ten years. I often get asked “What does a flare feel like?” My response is “Which one?”
My first flare was my worst…achy joints, high fever always, weight loss, fatigue, cold all the time. We started Plaquenil and within three months I was feel good again…a new norm of anemia, infertility and fatigue always, but not hurting.
My second big flare was achy joints, fatigue and hair loss. Patches of bald spots and an itchy scalp that kinda surprised me since I did not know my hair was connected to auto immune issues
My third big flare was my scariest. Lung inflammation. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I could not catch my breath and my chest hurt. Again, no clue my lungs could be connected to my Lupus.
This one has lasted the longest…mirrored more Rheumatoid arthritis than Lupus. It caused me to change my meds to focus on joint pain rather than fatigue. It caused my hands to go crooked and surprisingly has impacted my eyes. No clue if it is inflammation or allergy or random coincidence but my eyes have been burning. This flare also impacted my weight and fatigue and now thinning hair. A big surprise is the new inflammation in my stomach…food does not process which makes me feel malnourished.
The crazy thing is insurance causes me to need referrals and it is hard to know what can be treated with a GP versus a specialist. So much is determined by Lupus and is just confusing. So my goal today is to get answers and maybe a better plan. I feel good mentally, but Lupus can cause depression too and I have had that this time as well. Pray that God leads me to answers and wisdom today!
I am blessed with all the advancements in this tricky disease. I am learning to accept myself at my lowest weight, infertile, bruised from blood thinners, thin hair that does not grow out and feeling tired all the time. Learning I am who I am with this disease. No one can truly understand it through my eyes and what I go through each day to make it to the next as a mom and teacher and wife…but God is using this for His glory! Adoption and more has been a gift in this and I am not dead. I have felt like dying is near at times or even frustrated that my quality of life at 42 is so different …if this is 42 what will 62 feel like…will I live to see 72? Does my child get the mother he deserves?
In it all, I will take this life and live it awake. I will appreciate what I do have through a support system and medical team. God is good!
Today I am focusing on Psalm 136:1. I am giving thanks to God. Thankful for my body. Thankful for my medical team. Thankful for prescription drugs. Thankful for a supportive husband. Thankful for prayer. Thankful for days to take off for the doctor. Thankful for the beauty in the ashes. Thankful on purpose.
To me January 1st is just another day. Whatever vision you had on December 31st could be done then…why wait? Why be dramatic about January 1st…it seems like it is setting one up to get on this hig emotional high then fail. However, I do love graduations to reflect and endings call for new beginnings.
Four areas I want to examine:
Health-mind and physical. I am hopeful to get answers to my weight loss, gain some weight, and not let inflammation bring me down.
Reading-both to grow and for pleasure
I see these four areas as important to me and areas where I can grow. Work is important too and I have goals there…but at my stage of life…so much time is spent on making a name for myself as a teacher that it is exhausting. Sometimes I just need to live my life and bring that to the curriculum I know.
My school family!
So today, give yourself grace. Notice the baby steps to be better, but do not suffocate yourself with strict guidelines. Enjoy the journey!
Happy 2022. The year I blog until I get busy again!
Something about this year felt extra special. 2021 gave us some scares and helped me appreciate the time we have together. I learned to not take the moments, the memories and the people for granted. I really went all in to the atmosphere this year and loved the process as much as the product.
I am a teacher and I worry often about the education of my son. He struggles academically with reading and math. He has documented disabilities and sensory issues. He has ADHD…but this kid is SO creative!
He is a kid that sees things not as what they are, but what they could be. He was created by God and gifted to us through adoption. I was made to parent him, but his academic struggles stress me out since creativity is not tested.
I wish they tested being awesome because he would score off the charts! I wish school would focus on the creative mind…the mind you cannot teach-it is just there and it is valuable and priceless and will change the world. Until then, I will be his biggest fan and prepare him for a education that is narrow focused, but he is more than that.
No one prepares you to mom in cold weather. Texas women do not get much guidance in handling kids during freezing weather and snow in an area that’s climate is just straight up hot. Exhibit A: Ridiculous Clothing
We don’t ski…enough said. Exhibit B: cooked from the pantry.
Pardon his booger nose…we blew it shortly after the pic was taken. We ate whatever we found in the pantry: tacos, mac and cheese, bootleg dumplings minus the chicken, chili with missing ingredients and lots of breakfast foods and frozen foods.
Who kept that fire going while dad worked all week? This girl!
Who got a workout in while all the whole house watched and tried to wave to the camera? Me again!
Who splurged with some snow ice cream and played outside every day in temps in the single digits? Me.Me.Me!
Hopefully you can agree that moms do what moms do to keep their children happy despite being stuck inside for 6 days straight. We made memories, had fun, learned a little and relaxed a lot! Looking forward to getting out tomorrow, but celebrating we made it today!
I started Camp Gladiator boot camps at the start of the pandemic. With virtual teaching, home schooling, parenting, and staying at home…I just needed something for me. It started virtually then I moved over to in-person. It has been a great way to self care, connect with others, and improve my health all while setting goals and working to achieve them. Especially, when we started the foster care process, I needed something about me and to not let my frustrations explode. So 100 check ins was a huge deal celebrating discipline and sticking with something even when things got busy. January you get the workouts for free so sign up and join us online!