Kids watch. The older I get one of the things that shows love the most is how spouses treat each other especially in front of the children. I want my son to see the way to treat a woman in the way my husband treats me. I am not referring to gifts (though that is nice), I am talking about kind words and actions that show love.
The tone of your voice. The words that are spoken. The sacrifice of your time. The things that keep a marriage strong and going even when getting along and growing old is challenging. During Sunday school, a kid gave me this answer while filling out the craft and it almost made me cry. This dad gets it and the child sees it.
I love my spouse, but how we each show and receive love is very different. I am a quality time girl. Love to me is snuggles on the couch, date nights, sleeping in late, vacations to the beach. In short: time!
My husband is very different. He is Acts of Service. Love to him is work. He likes a clean house, a chore that needs to be done, working on a project together to get it done faster. Productivity and progress makes his day! So clearly we are different, so how do we make it work?
Step 1 is recognizing how the other receives love and doing it graciously. This is hard for me since I like to be comfortable and lazy. Step 2 is accepting just because we are giving, does not mean the other is receiving. I am on Cloud 9 on a date night, but he might be feeling nothing so I have to remember though my love tank is full…he still has room to be filled which means I have to be intentional about showing love even after a great night.
It is hard when two languages are so different but worth it when the marriage is working and growing. The question I have to keep asking is “Am I giving as much as I am receiving?” If I can honestly answer no then time to get to work!