Author Archives: intunewithmyautoimmune

About intunewithmyautoimmune

I am a 41 year old woman living with Lupus, dealing with infertility and pursued adoption-he is ours! In spite of it all and because of it all, I am blessed.

Know Jesus Better

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I stepped out of my comfort zone this summer and joined a Bible Study for women. Not only that, but I led a table group. I struggle being in a room with women that love Jesus because I feel like I fail in being a godly woman. I do not see myself worthy of being a pastor’s wife.

I drink.

I listen to 90’s rap and like it. On bad days, I catch myself talking gangsta like in the lyrics.

I am good at doing the stanky leg.

I complain and am idle.

I do not like people in my home and buy goodies rather than bake them.

I do not craft…in fact I hate it.

I just do not feel like I represent a woman of the church. But I love Jesus and so do the women I got to “lead” this summer. I wanted to be at the table with my friends or the table with the people my age, but God had a better plan. I was at the table with a mix of ages and he sat me down so that I could be mentored and taught. I gained new friends and grew in my relationship with Christ.

This is Bible Study.

This is the church.

If you have not studied with Ruth Chou, then I encourage you to study Truthfilled. It takes you on a journey through Colossians to learn your identity in Christ. To rehearse His truths. So powerful in this age where we easily get our confidence from likes, views and followers. Truth is what we say to ourselves is everything…so speak truth!

Priorities

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I struggle with this. I put off Bible study to put away dishes. I avoid reading his word to vacuum. I get more concerned about others being impressed with my home I stop to consider how they feel about themselves in my presence. I need to reconsider my priorities.

Teaching Sadness

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Teaching is my joy and passion. It is really hard, but this profession impacts lives for a lifetime, so when a former or current student dies it should not be a surprise it is devastating.

Homerooms become a family. We check in every day together. Go to lunch. Travel to other classes.ย  Share our triumphs and struggles. Class parties, awards, field trip lines, class pics, yearbook pages….your homeroom in elementary school is life..good or bad-there is a bond.

15 years later, I still have stories of this group…

Funny stories. Sad stories.ย  Stories of growing as a teacher. This group is now 23 to 24. They are graduates, parents, coworkers, college students, soldiers…they are grown, but I will forever see them as this age right here. My kids in 2008.

So when I learned one died it shook me. When I learned it was due to gun violence it broke me. A young person gone too soon. A flood of memories rushed back…the time I ran into him at the store a couple of years ago…the time he came up to share a hug and hello. Once a student, always a student.

Teaching is hard in moments like these. Teaching sadness is real. Seeing these young people hurt is painful. Knowing it is part of the job to love so big that when you lose one it hurts bad.

But we go back each year and build those relationships and families because that is how we learn. We learn in love and we learn in loss.

RIP A’Daireon. You made me a better teacher. God put us together in 5th grade for a reason. God brought our paths together. I am blessed by you. You will never be forgotten.

This is a teacher’s heart.

Closer to Justin Bieber

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I am a Belieber.

True story. I love him. I could be his mom, but love his music and style and he just seems like the cutest kid ever.

The hubs and I tried poutine for the first time this week. Some type of food that started in Canada. It was delish and I feel closer to Justin than ever.

That.is all!

Poutine with roast and gravy. Ate half before remembering the pic.

Firework Waste

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What is it with fireworks that make people lose their minds? We live out in the country where popping all explosives is legal. Every New Year and July 4th my house sounds like a war zone. This is not how I was raised. We watched them, but never popped them so seeing this excitement for fire is beyond me.

Personally, they are a waste of money. I said it!

However, the smile it brings my son to hold the lighter and watch it go off. The anticipation of what the firecracker will do…how high…how loud….the colors. He loves it all. The joy my husband feels to put on a show and share that explosion together…it is special.

I pace back and forth ready for the injury, the fire, the accident and 911 call. I am not a fireworks girl-but my boys are so we light em up. Truth is that hour of memories is no different then a dinner night out or buying fancy liquor to drink. You consume it and it is gone. You have nothing left but a memory and maybe a picture, but in that moment it was everything and nowhere else you would rather be.

So rather than be a fireworks waste, I will choose to say fireworks win last night. Memories to last a lifetime and maybe share with his family someday. Happy 4th of July!

Post Pet Peeve

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I get so annoyed with the posts that say “My _______ is better than yours.” We have all seen them. My best friend, my school, my mom, my husband… First, I know they are not serious but you can share your happiness without putting down mine. Second, you don’t know my mom so how can you say for sure.? Third, it just feels competitive in nature rather than cliche or cute.

Again, just my opinion.

Why not say “I love my mom” or “My mom is the best ” or “Blessed with a great mom. ” Do we really need to bring every person that reads your post into it? We can all shine and be happy for each other. Every time I read one…I rarely smile even though I know it is meant to be funny.

Again, I know I am taking something silly too seriously, but needed to speak out about how this makes me feel…you all may carry on๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ If you disagree then just remember “My blog is better….” Just kidding!!

Paying for an Experience

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My son has been obsessed with dinosaurs lately. We can thank Jurassic World and Ryan’s toy reviews for that. When I learned the Jurassic exhibit was in Dallas, but required over 25 dollars a ticket and over an hour drive…I stopped to consider if this event was worth it.

It was.

The experience was worth the cost. The opportunity to be together as a family. The fact my husband took off of work-shock! The chance to laugh when the unexpected occurred. The feeling of awe as the robots came to life. The smiles, the laughs, the conversations on the way home. The way he tells everyone about it.

Was it costly? Yes. Was it only an hour? Yes. Will we remember it for a lifetime? I hope so.

Choose.the.experience.

We did.

Quiet Time with God

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Quiet Time with God

I fail at this daily. The author of the Bible Recap says “You are a person that reads her Bible, wants to read her Bible or wants to want to read her Bible.” I fall in the middle.

I am on Day 102 of a Bible reading plan, but should be on Day 175 I think. I started strong then stalled. I thought summer days would catch me up and I failed at that, too. My problem is distractedness. I sit down then lose focus. I am a failure.

Now, I celebrate that I have read 102 more days of the Bible than I read last year, but I can do better. I want to do better. I feel better and can handle life better when God’s truth is poured into me. I strive to be more like God.

But believing God is where the joy is at is much different than living it, so I continue to pray and do more. Truthfully, every time God has called me to study His word…he ends up preparing me for a battle where His word has sustained me. I will see if this time is different, but I know I am armed with the truth and that is enough.

Alone Time

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Came to my parents to hang out for an hour before my Camp Gladiator workout. They were on their way out the door to get to Luby’s by four (yum)! Was I upset because they left me there all alone?

Ummmm….no!!

It was magical! I was alone! No kid, dog, dishes to do…it was like being at a hotel. Made my day and made me realize I am old when being alone excited me because it never happens.

Bible Study Truths

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I have a goal to read the entire Bible this year using the Bible Recap and Group Me to hold me accountable. This has been a long time goal so I am thankful to partner with this group and hope to finish it strong. I am far behind but not giving up.

Another Bible truth is doing a study with other women. Bible studies are out of my comfort zone since I am a woman outside the mold…but women are women and we can all learn from each other. Right now our study is Truth Filled and learning how to preach the truth to yourself.

However, you get the Word I pray the Lord will reveal His truths and wisdom and you grow to know Him better.

However