Date nights. We almost forgot they existed. But if we want to put our marriage as a priority then time together must be scheduled. So a new commitment is to make time for each other. Time to talk. Time to laugh. Time to be alone. We seek a marriage built on God first and family second.
Leave it to Texas to not know how it feels. It’s like my therapy I attend monthly…just talking until I figure it out. But here I am, under a heated blanket, beside a fire and trying to be productive while the city and school shuts down for an ice day.
I will not complain. I love the time at home…introvert and homebody over here. Love being lazy and love time with my son. Hoping I use this day to catch up with God and with life!
I am sick. Lupus does that to you. Most days I do not mind. Most days my disease is manageable. On the hard days, it sucks, but all in all I am blessed. My struggle is silent. I go to work daily. I rarely complain. The people who know the truth are my son and husband. They feel the weight of my lack of energy and overall fatigue. Sad, but true. My job gets the best I can offer while my family suffers.
I started with Plaquenil and it worked until it didn’t. Methotrexate was a no go after a few months. Cellcept lasted a month, but I am stopping it due to excessive hair loss. I am sick, but I refuse to look sick.
This was a good pic of me in November. Hard to believe that was 3 months ago.
I have such thick hair that the hair loss is still somewhat disguisable, but I see it and feel it.
This is Lupus. It is sneaky and complicated and can bring even a confident person to their knees. I am stopping Cellcept until we can start something else. I am willing to endure the temporary pain. Pray with me as we figure this out. I think Benalysta may be next.
My husband does not always do everything the way I prefer him to do it, but one area where he excels is being a good father. He makes the time, sets boundaries and always follows through. Proud to have a front row to watch them two bond.
One thing that I am thankful for is NOT having daddy issues like many women I know. My dad modeled a genuine love for me including being present. He still is that father figure. He leaned into Jesus to learn how to be a dad because his dad was not there. Thankful my husband leans on Jesus too because my son will benefit like I did. God is a faithful Father and if you missed out having this experience as a child, know God can be trusted. Lean into Him!
I want to start by saying that this year for me is WAY better than last year, so I am thankful. Last year juggling virtual teaching and student absences while trying to maintain a gradebook was intense. I will always be grateful for my mental health this year, however teachers across the country are abandoning education at a massive rate. I struggled to put into words why…but then a teacher I follow on Twitter said it perfectly…
The teaching game has changed, but the mindsets of those making the decisions and laws have not. They want to “catch up” kids to make them what they use to be and these kids are not what they use to be. Families have changed, education has changed and now laws need to change. The stress being put on teachers to test and perform is breaking our spirits as more hours of tutoring, documentation and building up their SEL is exhausting. I made this TikTok last year I think of one of my favorite Christian songs called Truth Be Known. It sums us up well…looking good, but feeling weak.
God is my source of hope and strength so I know my foundation is firm. I have endured this business for 20 years so I know I can endure this valley, but those that do not know any different are walking out at an alarming rate. I get it. I hate it, but I get it.
On another note, wow how Lupus has changed my hair. No clue when my hair began to fall out and thin, but seeing my hair in this Tik Tok is shocking…long, full of volume…this is it today
Not without hope, but definitely not what it was. Crazy how a medicated auto immune disease can do that. My devo today said God has a purpose for my broken body and I am putting all my faith, hope and love that it is true.