I have not posted since July and I am sure some think I just quit the blogging world altogether. Not quite. Firstly, I feel at a different place with the blog as if I no longer have a good story to tell. So much feels closed with the adoption of our son. I have never been one to be a mommy blogger or have a blog about the trials and tribulations of caring for kid. Those blogs are great to read, but I am not one to write them. For the longest time, my focus was Lupus then infertility then the adoption…and now I feel like just a normal person again without that exciting story to tell In truth, I am thankful for that, but feel a little boring as a writer so forgive me if I don’t write as much.
This summer, was a beautiful display of perfection. I was a stay at home mom and a well rested one! My days consisted of loving my son and trying not to spend too much money or over eat. Around August, I got the dreaded “Welcome back to School Letter” and it all began to go downhill from there. I love being a teacher, but it is exhausting. It is constant 24/7 thinking what I should be doing or still need to do for the classroom. It is not a job you can leave because all the time my head plans for what we are learning next and if I am prepared. Have I contacted that parent, or entered that grade or found that flipchart or made that copy? It is constant and if I am not working I feel guilty for allowing myself to just get by or I feel guilty for getting behind because I know it will lead to a late night at school until seven pm when I finally just let it go. The truth is the teacher’s job is never done until summer vacation. So you can see that knowing that I was going back was a bit draining.
I have never begun the school year as a mom. This was my first-first day of school with a baby at home. I was so proud to introduce myself as a mother, but very overwhelmed at how much I just wanted to let all this go and run home to him. I love teaching and staying at home is not an option, but I feel spread thin being a mother and classroom teacher. I have amazing family and husband that help out in phenomenal ways, but I want to be there for it all and it is hard. So, that was time leading up to starting the school year. So blessed to look back and think that August of last year, we were wrapping up a home study and praying for a phone call. We had no idea when, where who or how…but we knew that we did all we could do and were just waiting!
The good news is: It felt good to return to work with a reason for working. I love coming home and Fridays are my favorite day of the week. We always do a Friday dance and celebrate our special night together!