So, I haven’t blogged in a while, but a large part of that is lack of time. The one word that I can use to describe caring for a newborn is: sacrifice. You sacrifice your sleep, your time, your freedom, your hobbies and your sanity (at times). We are blessed to live near ALL our family so we have childcare at our fingertips, but it still does not make it easy. Especially during the winter, one of us goes out while the other stays in with the baby. Please know I am not complaining because we are blessed…we lived eight married years being all about us…we have had our parties, concerts, vacations, crazy near accidents and wild stories…we will have them all again soon enough, but right now our lives have changed and it is all about experiencing this life with a baby.
I am fortunate for the experiences I have had. I feel like each major milestone I have lived to the full. I lived it up in high school (had my share of detentions, tickets, parties, memories), loved college and all the unique freedoms that brought, went through the entire process of dating-getting engaged-getting married and making a home, started a career and then went back to finish my masters…I was blessed to live each milestone fully then move to the next step with no regret. I look back at what was the key to experiencing each blessing and it is simply: family. I had a family to support me when I messed up or to stop me from doing anything stupid. They gave me the confidence to take risks, but the knowledge of safety first and the grass is not always greener. My family was a support system and a safety net.
We spent a lot of time with our baby’s birth parents and they both did not have strong family support and that influenced every life choice they made. We pray to give our son that security of family because there is no greater gift. My family made sacrifices for me and therefore I will make sacrifices for him. Babies do change everything! We are adjusting to this new life and all the sacrifices and blessings that come with it. My greatest blessing is having a good man by my side to be there for it all.
I never thought I would want a man to hold my hand at a doctor’s appointment, understand when I told him again that I got my period which means we are not pregnant, cry with me when we were told I was infertile, help pay for all the medicines and blood tests to get a diagnosis, pick up two extra jobs to pay for the adoption and be willing to travel to Houston (three hours each way) to attend numerous meetings…never thought of any of this when I said “yes” to his proposal. I only thought about the romance, the emotions, and the good times. But a marriage is solidified in the bad times and he has proven his manhood over and over again. To see him with our son is beautiful. Callen is a blessed baby. I have a good man!
As I type this blog, I know at any moment I will have to stop this task if he begins to cry. All my activities are now with the mindset that it can be interrupted at any time. Hubby works nights so I have full night duty and until I go back to work, full day duty as well…he is my afternoon relief man so I can get a few things done. I want Cal to sleep but not so much during the day that he stays up all night. It is a fine balance, but it is all about him right now. I am not complaining because I look forward twenty years and Lord willing he will be more independent and my role will be more supportive rather than the lead. I am blessed and pray to never wish this time away. I want to experience each moment fully. My social life will continue soon enough, but for now it is all about living in this moment….okay he is crying now…gotta go.
The good news is: I have to type fast because I have a baby crying 🙂 God is good!!!