I was chatting with a friend from college that had some questions about adoption specifically about the openness of adoption. She was shocked to hear that they can be open and that it is often encouraged. It was a great feeling to describe to her the wonderful opportunity of planning a future for a dearly loved child and to put aside your own fears to put this new life first. At the end of the conversation, I just redescribed the love of a mother to accept the opportunity to create a family for a couple that cannot have children or maybe can, but has it in their heart to go a different route. These birth families are not “giving” anything away…they are making a plan and the love that is involved to make this decision is unbelievable. Obviously, not everyone is in the situation where parenting is a tough option, but those that are it is a beautiful thing to have choices. A year ago, I would have known none of this and today I am the “expert”…but my knowledge is still very limited.
I stressed to her my job as the adoptive parent is to never stop speaking of the great love that was bestowed upon this child and my gratefulness for receiving such a beautiful gift. I did not choose to be infertile…those were the cards that were dealt to me. It is not “fair” and does not make sense…yet! Someday it will and we will embark on a journey that will justify every decision that we have ever made to get us where we are today.
I have found myself to be an advocate for adoption and criticizing the media for making it out to be a joke. (Example a Chelsea Handler commercial where she flippantly says “Your mom is covering up that you are adopted…how does that feel?”) Like being adopted is a curse or punishment. Sad to be so uninformed. Crazy how a year ago, I probably would have laughed or not been bothered…thinking that could be my child embarrassed about his history makes me shudder. The truth is I have been praying for my son or daughter ceaselessly for months and I have been praying for the situation that will start the process that causes us all to meet.
The good news is: We have such supportive friends and family that have never stopped encouraging us and praying for us. We know that with their love our child will never feel like plan B to a biological child, but the best plan A ever…even better than we could have imagined. I praise my God that is leading this journey and continually pray for the baby and the family that will make me a mom. I don’t pray this decision on anyone…an unwanted pregnancy is never God’s plan…but I pray that as these situations occur, because we live in a fallen world, that she will consider adoption as a possibility to an uncertain future. I look forward to seeing how God will bring good from all of this and connect our lives in unbelievable ways. Lord, here I am, send me!