We packed a Diet Root Beer and bag of cookies then sent our social worker on an airplane back to Houston. Before she left, we gave a hug and a kiss and said, “We’ll talk when we know more.” The hard work is over and the waiting begins! I feel like crying and cheering all at the same time. The cheers would be because we did it: we completed the paperwork, fingerprints, background checks, physicals, interviews, home study, adoption book and so much more I can’t even remember. The cries because we are finallly here…we are now waiting with a purpose. We have always been waiting, but knowing that we still had things we needed to do first…now we have done our part and the rest is out of our control.
Another big milestone in my life is that I have shared this blog with more people close to me and that was really hard. I never want anyone to feel sorry for me or for us on this journey. I never want people to feel like we have it bad because we don’t. We are blessed more than we can imagine. We get to experience a love and family dynamic that many will never know and we are grateful.
I am reminded of Lou Gehrig’s speech where he considers himself the luckiest man on earth. I love his last line “So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for.” Granted, I am not dying so that is a plus for me, but every woman that knows about infetility knows the heartbreak it brings and the grief you feel for not just yourself, but for your husband as well.
Our social worker urged us to be more open about our situation saying: 1. You never know who your story will impact. 2. There is nothing to be ashamed about…if you experience a loss or excitement you need friends to share that joy/grief. 3. You need the prayers of all those around you. So, I am not posting anything on Facebook since you never know whom to trust, but I am opening myself to share with women I know will pray and love unconditionally. All these trials will serve a purpose and we cannot wait to see where this journey takes us.
The good news is: This school year is one of my most anticipated because anything can happen. So MUCH has changed since last August. I never knew about the Lupus, we were still anticipating getting pregnant and adoption was not even a thought in our mind or heart. Fast forward to 2012 and here we are on the ride of our lives! We know it won’t be all sunshine and roses from this day forward; so many emotions both easy and hard are still to come, but we are not alone. Sweet relief!!!