I read a blog that gave the best advice describing that time of waiting. For some, the waiting is the two week wait–that time between you have done all you can do to conceive and the moment you discover if it works. For others, it is waiting to try again after a loss or setback that involved a painful time of grief. Maybe it is waiting to find a surrogate or waiting to hear back from an adoption agency. It could also be waiting to decide what to wait on or waiting for the spouse that will help you along. I don’t know the specific situation, but I feel we have been waiting a lot lately.
The advice was simple: Live while you wait!
Profound, yet hard to put into practice. While waiting it is easy to worry or wonder. You want to be hopeful, but weary of being disappointed. You want to enjoy your time, but there are so many “what ifs” that keep you from that joy. Especially if trying to concieve…the two week wait is horrible! So many things we do naturally cannot be done when pregnant. I remember in the beginning being afraid to take a hot bath, drink a glass of wine, play a soccer game or ride a roller coaster. I would literally stop my life for two weeks in fear of hurting a baby that I could be carrying…that all stopped after my doctor said, “Live your life.”
Right now, we are waiting on the adoption to progress. We are waiting on a birth mother to choose us. We are waiting on all of our paperwork to be approved and we are waiting to know more about what we are waiting for or for whom we are waiting. As one author calls it: we are in the meantime. We have begun the journey, but are in the middle. On a sidenote: Crazy to think that our son or daughter could already be conceived as I type these words. We are fervently praying for the child’s health and for the birth mother’s safety, emotions, her family and the decisions she will be making. We don’t just want any baby…we want our baby. The baby God created knowing He knew we would be the parents. The baby that will make all this waiting worth it!
I am happy to say that Nathan and I are living life to the fullest while we wait. This is a happy time for us because the peace which transcends all understanding has surrounded us to know our waiting is not in vain. We feel confident in our decisions and see the hand of God at work everyday. We actually have a new purpose for living because we know our lives can include a child at any moment. We are living and doing the things we have enjoyed and are able to do because it is just us two. This past summer we have gone on vacation to Mexico, scuba dived in the coral reefs, girls’ nights out, slept in late, stayed up late, gone out to eat to adult friendly restaurants, spent money to update the house, taken weekend getaways, gone to amusement parks and rode roller coasters and just embraced our time together and with our friends doing the things we love.
A baby does not mean all these things will stop, but there will be a new thought whenever we do them. We will have a child in mind. Many of these things we will continue to do, but we are realistic to know that some things will have to wait….and with a wink and a grin….we are good at waiting!!!!
The good news is: anything we have to give up to accomodate for a child we will get back ten fold in the blessings that we will receive. We have no idea of this love that we will soon experience. There are times I cringe thinking of the responsibility and worry that awaits me. Times I want to hug my parents for enduring this for all these years; in awe of how they let me walk out of my house knowing all the dangers that lurk in this world and eagerly want to protect me. However, it is our time and we know God will be with us so let the journey begin!