Random Thoughts on a Hot Summer Day

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First random thought. Today, the realization that we are deeper into the adoption became hotmail official. As I looked back over the past few months, I noticed I had quite a few emails concerning the adoption. Correspondence with the agency, invitations I want to keep for our baby book, contact with the group of families that we met from our group study and our invitation to work with the agency for our adoption. As I looked over this list of emails, I realized that I need to keep them all together so I made an Adoption folder. That is right…one of the folders now says “adoption” and it felt Hotmail official. Things are starting to roll in this process and I like it!

Next random thought involves my pills that I take for Lupus. For the first time in my life, I had to buy a day of the week pill box. I bought a fancier orange one so I would enjoy looking at it each day. I have never felt so connected with my grandmother as I did the day I bought my organizer.  The sad thing is I refill the box each week and it is a constant reminder how fast my summer seems to be going.  Today, realizing I had to refill it made me sad because that means an entire week has already gone by.  My pill box mostly keeps vitamins, but all are recommended to supply the nutrients this disease needs most. I have two prescribed medications that are clearly working because I have gained five pounds over the summer. (Honestly, it is the pills mixed with eating poorly and not getting up to do much of anything until three in the afternoon, but I will still blame the meds.) I needed to gain weight because I was looking sickly. While taking my Saturday meds today I took all seven pills at once and felt proud of myself since taking the meds are a daily chore.  I warned you these were random.

Final random thought. I giggled because I pulled the L card today. You know…the Lupus card. Most of the time I do not need it because thank the Lord my symptoms are mild.  In fact, I spend most of time convincing everyone around me that I feel great and to stop worrying.  So thankful that I learned about this disease early so we could treat it right away before the damage became worse. Last night, I played soccer without a sub and I ran back and forth down a field for a total of forty minutes with no break. Proud that I can still do this; last night I even felt great afterward. Today, I feel the fatigue. The L card came out to justify that I should be resting all day.

(Now, please know that this disease truly hurts and that the symptoms in a flare feel like the flu times ten. Many people have been afflicted with heart, liver and kidney trouble and functioning day to day is a very real and difficult challenge. Lupus is not an excuse…it is a reason and very real one for their hurt and inability to live at 100%.  I am choosing to make light of a very serious situation by sharing that in our house it is called “pulling the L card.”  Plus, I am spoiled because my medication is working and I don’t have to go to work…August will hit me hard as I go back to my daily job and full schedule.)

After blaming the Lupus for my fatigue, I realized that my non Lupus teammates were hurting this morning also. So, Lupus got framed today! Happy we can still keep a good sense of humor in our home because my husband called me out immediately and said “You randomly bring that up when it works to your advantage and I have nothing to say to fight it.” He is right. I do. I call it my little L card! (PS. I’m sure he would have accepted “I am tired from playing a full soccer game without a sub”, but that would have been too easy.)

The good news: a sense of humor and excitement over the little things is what keeps me going!

4 responses »

  1. I love you Jules, and i love you more each day just knowing the kind of person you really are. I told you a long time ago that you always make me laugh… your always caring and trying to make light of a bad situation. Its people like you that give others true motivation to keep going, keep trucking even in the hardest of hard times. You hold a special place in my heart… you are ONE in a million

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    • Thanks, Jen! I think your strength with your son and your willingness to fundraise and give back is what started us all to realize we are grown ups now! Life happens and how we deal with it matters most. You are an inspiration to me as well!

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