Thankfully no news is good news! I am starting my second month on Plaquenil and beginning to feel the positive effects of this drug that helps to control the inflammation. I take both pills at night because of the nausea and feel well during the day. My most recent blood work showed all was normal in the land of anemia and white blood cells. Huge blessing since I have been anemic for over a year. Having the summer off and living stress free with lots of sleep has helped. Thankful for answered prayers of wisdom, knowledgable doctors and insurance that covers most of the cost. I have avoided the sun for the most part (this will help my anti-aging process), but I have still managed to live my life to the fullest.
I will make a whole post of this, but the Adoption Book is done!!! Happy dance begins now. Like I said, look for the formal post about this since it deserves an entire page. My home study is in August: the social worker’s ticket to get here has been bought and we are in the process of preparing for her arrival. We have gotten new carpet, after 8 years we finally have a dining room table, we are painting rooms, cleaning cabinets and decluttering the house. We have lived here for eight years, so it is a good time to do this anyway. If we have not used it by now then it is time to let it go. We are continuing to complete our paperwork, we still need to get our fingerprint checks done, he needs to get his physical, but the biggest challenge of all (the book) is completed!!! After the homestudy, we will be in the pool of waiting families and any birthmom could consider us for the adoption plan of the baby.
Still infertile. No new changes. 🙂 The smiley face is because that is my sick sense of humor. Like, still can’t make babies..just like a year ago.
A few questions we get asked often:
Can you choose boy or girl?
At our agency the answer is no. The birth mom chooses us and then later we learn the sex of the baby. The reality is she may not know. Nathan and I just want a healthy baby. Period. I would love to have a girl to dress up and I know Nathan would melt like butter on a sour dough roll if he experienced the love of a daughter. However, we are both so athletic that a boy might be the easiest fit into our family (assuming the boy likes sports). Either way, God knows what we need and we trust Him to provide what is best. I fear getting an artsy, creative, philosophical child because that is so not me, but I also know God will give me the tools to relate and learn something new.
Can the birthmom change her mind?
She has 48 hours after the delivery. After that, no. Many birth moms allow the adoptive parents into the delivery room to experience the birth and we pray that we get that chance, but all of that is a “time will tell” answer. We pray for her and her decision daily because no matter what it will be hard. Teen Mom focuses on a young couple that chooses adoption and it is humbling and inspiring to watch their journey. Adoption is never easy for anyone. We are all making sacrifices, but all for the life of this baby. Our baby (where ever it may be) is loved!
Is it expensive?
Yes! However, so is IUI, IVF, surrogacy, embryo adoption etc. Having a premature baby in ICU for eight weeks would be expensive also or delivering a healthy baby but getting sick and having to go to the hospital would add up as well. It all has a price tag and God is meeting our needs. We are learning to manage our money and the future of our family is priceless. We are on this journey at a time in our lives where some bills are being paid off so it is all working out perfectly. It always does.
What are your adoption options? Disclaimer: I am not an expert. This is my experience and what I have learned; this is just an overview.
International adoption involves going to another country and adopting from an orphanage. The paperwork is still massive, there are travel costs, legal restrictions due to that country’s laws, it is a lengthy process, but many choose it because their hearts feel led. Some love the idea of sharing a new culture or giving a child a new start at life after being neglected.
Domestic adoption is an adoption in your home country. When I tell people we are adopting, the first question I get asked is, “Where from?” My answer is, “Texas.”. I know they expect me to say another country, but we are adopting from the great USA.
Closed adoption means the contact with the birth family is cut. You don’t have to make contact with another family, but you also don’t have the biological source to ask questions. Some people prefer closed adoption out of fear of sharing or kidnapping or all the other crazy things I have heard. For some, they had no choice in the matter. The birth mom chose not to have contact.
Open adoption is when the birth parents and the adoptive parents make a plan for their child that includes staying in contact. It can be photos, phone calls, letters, emails, visits once or twice a year or more. Both families celebrate birthdays or important events, but the adoptive family is still the parents and legal guardians.
Foster to adopt is when you take on the role of foster parent with the opportunity to adopt if it comes up. There are lots of rules that go with this such as the child must be in your home for at least six months and ultimately the state is taking away the rights of the parent (or the parent is signing them away). It is harder to get an infant in this scenario and you might go through many foster children before one is available for adoption. The upside is the state does help in your costs and it ends us being one of the more cost effective ways to adopt.
Special needs adoptions. God bless you. Many families learn they have a special needs child and cannot afford the costs of taking care of the child. Families that choose this option selflessly agree to care for the child and help them with their medical needs as well.
The good news is: adoption language is changing and society’s perception of this opportunity is changing as well. Prior to this experience I could count on one hand the families that I knew that adopted, but it is becoming a more popular choice for a variety of reasons and I am blessed to be going on this journey.